Up Again

It’s 3:47 A.M. and I’ve been up for a while. It’s not unusual for me to be woken up by pain. It usually happens every night. I have to get up and take more pain medication. My legs are on fire. I have degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, gouty arthritis, osteoarthritis. I could go on and on, but I won’t.  I am not in the habit of complaining about my pain, it is what it is. I deal with it the best I can.

What I was going to tell you is that there are several ways that you can learn to live with chronic pain. For me, it was finding something to do that took my mind off of the pain, to at least lessen the pain so that I could function. Crochet was that something for me. It helps me to deal with the overwhelming pain that I feel. Sometimes my house smells of Icy Hot so much that it is overwhelming for a while.  I was lucky enough to find a pair of compression gloves that help my fingers and wrists. I am able to type better now and there is less pain.  I have my lift chair and my extra large heating pad hooked up and oh boy the relief that I get for a while feels so good. I meant to tell you that I now have 14 blankets made for my comfort bags. I’ll take a photo of them soon and post it. After I get done here, I will go to my chair and start on number 15. I bought 30 bags and if I can get 30 blankets done then that would be fantastic. I would like to get them done by November 1st if I can, so whatever the amount of blankets I can manage will have to do. All I need are the stuffed animals. I have a feeling that I need not worry. I will  manage to get what I need.

My medication is starting to work, so I think rather than crochet, I will go back to my bed and get some more sleep. It was nice talking to you all. I hope to see you soon.

 

Things That Wake You In The Night (From The Fabrication Of Your Dreams)

You hear the floor boards creak,

It makes your heart race and your knees weak.

You lay in bed not wanting to investigate,

When you hear another noise that you hate.

You never did find out where it comes from,

The dreaded drip…drip…drip and it makes you numb.

I’m so very tired, my eyes want to close,

But I don’t dare, I don’t want to doze.

Maybe for just a minute I will rest,

Not wanting to sleep, my eyes protest.

The next thing I know, the sunlight

Awakens me with a fright.

Jumping out of bed, putting slippers on my feet,

Grab a robe from the door, stub my toe on the love seat.

Once out in the hall, I walk to the stairs that go to the attic,

My breath starts to quicken and I start to panic.

At one time, I used to play up there,

Now I’m older when out of the blue it scares me, its so unfair.

For the first time the noise starts during the day,

Drip…drip…drip. I’ve had it and rush through the doorway.

When who do I see at the top of the stairs but        Morgan le Fay.

She was the stuff that dreams are made of.

I had been reading about King Arthur, Avalon and his true love.

The drip…drip…drip…was coming from the Lady of the Lake,

As she collected her offerings she made them all quake.

She gave Arthur his sword Excalibur at the urging of Merlin,

Now I understood the noises I heard and I was certain.

It was the imagination that comes from reading a good tale

With a touch of magic from Merlin and from me an exhale.

Mind Trip

Mind Trip

Welcome the darkness into my soul

Awaken in me the twilight of my being

Do not say that I can not belong

I was born to be a creature of the night

My dreams are the stuff that nightmares

Are made of.

I belong to that unconscious affliction

The one that others choose to ignore

That believe are an occurrence of delusions

The horrors of despair and dread

The angst, the revulsion of perdition

This is my plea, my utopia my reverie

My flight, a figment of my imagination

As I lay here in my padded room

Waiting for my mind trip to begin again.

How Do You Know?

How do you know?

How do you know when it is real or just a dream?

When you are running as fast as you can and still you hear it chasing you

so you run faster.

If it’s a dream, then why do you feel that little breeze

across your cheek like you are being softly touched as it passed you?

Why do you feel the fingers of fear running up and down your spine if

it is just a dream?

The sweat is running down your face soaking your shirt, you sit on the curb for just

a minute to collect your thoughts when you see a shadow in the street light.

The shadow moves toward you slowly at first then it picks up speed so you

get up and start running again.

You notice that the sky is getting lighter. It will be dawn soon, but that doesn’t stop

the shadow. It keeps coming.

All of a sudden you recognize your street and soon you see your house. You

run up the steps and unlock your door as quickly as you can. You are safe inside.

When you awaken, you lay there to collect your thoughts. Then you remember

your dream. Sitting up on the side of the bed, you see your running shoes, your

shirt is thrown across the chair.

Getting up, you check your shoes and they are wet and muddy and your shirt

is soaked. You gather them up to throw in the wash and out of the corner

of your eye, you see a shadow move quickly across the room.

Was it real, or just a dream? How do you know?

Dreaming

Day 28

Dreaming

Dreams at night

Are a real delight

When you remember

It’s even better

You recall it to the letter

Most dreams just fade

Like there is a barricade

Like a windowshade

You feel betrayed

When you dream in color

It makes you wonder

It seems so real

It makes you feel

Like you can steal

A glimpse of what’s ideal

Dreams are a delusion

Just an illusion

A rainbow or castle in the air

It could even be a scary nightmare

Dreams are never quite free from doubt

Yet we need to know what they’re about